New Rockford Transcript - Official Newspaper of Eddy County since 1883

Along with identifying as “Swifties,” ignoring the reported Chinese threat of bad dancing posed by TikTok, and pretending that plant-based meat is actually edible, many young people in America are engaging in another fascinating trend – not...

 One of my fondest childhood memories of Christmas in the 1970’s was riding around in the family station wagon, “Bessie,” to look at Christmas lights while I whined to my parents about needing a snack – again. There was something magical ab...

I've experienced a lifelong identity crisis, of sorts, because of my name (or names), and I've actually kind of enjoyed it – most of the time. The controversy began in 1970, around the time that I made my almost 10-pound newborn debut (sorry,...

East Texas is hot, and not in the way you compliment your wife when she's mad at you for performing an epic cannonball while she's lounging by the pool with her laptop. For the past few weeks, Texas (and much of the world) has been suffering through...

Raising three daughters has come with many delights, challenges, prayers and moments standing in that certain aisle at Target trying to figure out the differences between “ultra,” “Infinity FlexFoam,” “overnight,” “sport,...

I usually avoid discussing politics in my columns, mainly because I would rather not be disowned by family members, unfriended by friends, or doused with milkshakes and other beverages by complete strangers at the local Whataburger. This time,...

Ever since our local mayor issued a COVID-19 shelter-in-place-and-go-completely-cocoa bananas order, my family and I have found ourselves cooking more than we have for our entire lives. We’ve even been following recipes and using the actual...

As we adjust our daily schedules to the reality of the COVID-19 pandemic, many families are suffering from acute boredom. Students are suspending their homeschool teachers without pay for excessive grouchiness, children are traumatizing their pets by...

On a recent frigid day in February as I was entering Target to defrost my nose hairs and purchase a designer toilet brush, I noticed that they already had an array of skimpy women’s swimsuits on display, which dredged up some disturbing memories...

Following all of the frantic seasonal preparations, including at least 15 trips to Walmart for more almond bark, the abrupt conclusion of the festivities can come as quite a shock­— and not just to the digestive system. I often suffer acutely from...

Yes, I am one of “those” people. About 30 minutes after Labor Day has officially ended, I feel a strange compulsion to binge on my mother’s iced sugar cookies shaped like snowmen while listening to Nat King Cole croon about chestnuts. I...

Now that America is deep into the bowels of college football season, I’m experiencing my yearly gastrointestinal angst about my Texas A&M Aggies. I call them “my” Texas A&M Aggies because I spent an untold amount of my parents’ cash in...

When I was dating my wife (and still pretending to be charming), I once suggested we grab an old blanket, purchase a generous supply of processed lunch meat and go on a picnic. In my romantic desperation, I had apparently forgotten that we live in...

When the school year draws to a close, parents begin looking forward to the slower pace of summer - with a less regimented schedule, relaxing family vacations, and a long list of menial household chores to inflict upon the children anytime they...

Life with daughters is full of important questions. What's the best way to provide for their education? How can we ensure that they grow up with a solid moral compass? How can we keep them from dating until my first hip replacement? While finding...

My last column's referenced a report of a Dutch airliner that was diverted due to a passenger's flagrant flatulence at 30,000 feet. This column received such a resounding response (at least from my big brother) that I've decided to devote this entire...