Halloween memories

You've probably noticed that there are a lot of scary movies available on streaming services as we approach Halloween. Doesn't Halloween seem a little redundant this year? It seems like it should be the official holiday of 2020. Well, I've never been more enthused about masks...

You won't catch me watching any horror flicks this season— or any season for that matter. I'll admit I'm a cinema coward. I've never understood why people would pay to be scared out of their wits, especially when you can just turn on the news for free. If I want a heart attack, I'll just eat more pie.

Maybe it's because I was traumatized as a kid after watching “Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte” on the big screen at the Ash Theater in Ashley. To this day, I don't know if the movie was really that scary – I have no intention of revisiting it – or if it was just because I was in grade school and at an impressionable age. It was scary enough that I spent much of the movie under my seat beside my cousin Rodney while Bette Davis kept discovering bloody decapitated heads and amputated hands in a creepy old Gothic house.

For months afterward, I cowered at bedtime with the covers pulled up past my neck, imagining detached heads and hands in the shadows. Every kid knows the rules: anything under the blankets is safe.

The funny thing is, while I don't much care for fright flicks, I loved reading Clive Barker, Anne Rice, Dean Koontz and Stephen King novels. King's a vastly underrated writer— a great storyteller. I'll tell you now that the book, “The Shining was much scarier than the movie. By coincidence, while I was reading it, I was on a custom combining crew in Colorado, and on a day off, purely by chance, we drove past the Stanley Hotel where the movie was filmed. Creepy.

Another coincidence... early in the movie, you'll hear the voices of two Denver radio announcers, KHOW's Hal & Charlie. Some years later I found myself working at KHOW and even produced Hal & Charlie's show for a few weeks when their regular producer, The Red Baron, was on vacation. Small world.

As for other scary movies, I liked Alfred Hitchcock, although I don't plan to watch “The Birds” again anytime soon. I'm trying to remember if I ever made it through “The Exorcist.” Probably not in one sitting.

Now that it's the season, I've been searching my memory to recall any pranks I might have pulled on Halloween but I've come up empty I suppose because Halloween is to pranksters what New Year's Eve is to committed drinkers— Amateur's Night. However, my sister Sherry did get in trouble one Halloween when she and a friend soaped Marv Louma's picture window while Marv watched from inside. Busted. Sherry immediately went home and confessed, throwing herself on the mercy of the court. Mom was judge, jury, and executioner in those days, but lucky for Sherry, she saw the humor in it because Marv was kind of a battle-ax. She and Sherry stifled giggles when Marv called.

I'd like to say for the record that Sherry was a terrible mischief-maker because she always got caught. And you call yourself a Bender?

One Halloween prank I remember was when the son of the local veterinarian carried a jack-o'-lantern up the Frederick water tower. It leered over the edge for weeks until it finally rotted away. The whole thing really ticked off his father because he'd just paid professionals handsomely to install a two-way radio antenna on the tower (with city council approval, of course), and it felt like he'd wasted the money. He could have kept the job in-house.

Now, these Halloween memories have me craving sweets. I know this makes me a weirdo – along with other things – but I actually like candy corn. I even buy the stuff. Let's settle the debate right now; there's only one way to eat it— one section at a time.

Until next time, may your treats be plentiful and your tricks be few.

© Tony Bender, 2020