Ole gets 300 years in clean machine

Ole Thornerson was wheezing and snorting as he stumbled up the last golden step to Pearly Gate 333.

He expected a huge crowd of friends and relatives cheering him for making it but he was faced with only an 8-foot table from Walmart at which were seated a trio of saints– St. Peter, presiding, flanked by Saints James and John.

James and John were not Peter’s first choices for deputies of reg...