Official Newspaper of Eddy County since 1883

Articles written by Peter Funt


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  • What's with all the big stuff?

    Peter Funt|Mar 25, 2024

    After years of trying to develop what he called a “premium” hamburger, McDonald’s CFO Ian Borden surprised no one the other day by announcing that the company’s new focus is not making burgers better, just a lot bigger. The move won’t please nutritionists, but it fits perfectly with a growing desire among Americans for super-sized stuff. Consider ads for the 2024 Chevrolet Suburban boasting that, at 18 feet in length, the vehicle is “impossible to ignore.” Chevy refers to its...

  • Big pharma's song and dance

    Peter Funt|Mar 11, 2024

    The earworm “1-8-7-7 Kars 4 Kids” always struck me as a stellar example of how insufferable advertising can be when its creators really put their minds to it. The organization behind the long-running ad boasts that the jingle “has quickly become one of the most memorable and catchy radio ads of all time.” Though I’m not keen on encouraging youngsters to misspell words like “cars,” and while I’ve never understood who among us has enough extra autos sitting around that they’d...

  • The man who made food shopping fun

    Peter Funt|Nov 6, 2023

    My nephews and I were holed up at the TWA Hotel in New York on a rainy Sunday a few weeks ago, waiting to attend an evening wedding. I fiddled with my phone and laptop and scanned the TV, while explaining that this was a big day for my fantasy football teams. (To be honest, every Sunday during the NFL season is big.) Though the three teens knew a lot about football, I was taken aback when they said that unlike some 45 million Americans they had never learned the fantasy version – which has bec...

  • The man who made food shopping fun

    Peter Funt|May 8, 2023

    When Stew Leonard opened what he dubbed a “dairy store” in Norwalk, Conn., in 1969, it was a wonder of marketing, with a petting zoo, animated Disney-style characters and an on-site bottling plant. There were serious retailing strategies as well – a limited product line, attractive house brands, slick promotions and an abundance of free samples. The concepts pioneered in that supermarket are seen today at Trader Joe’s, Costco and Whole Foods. You’d think such an innovator would resent...

  • It's about time

    Peter Funt|Apr 17, 2023

    Even baseball purists like myself, who still aren't comfortable with designated hitters and restrictions on where fielders may be positioned, find themselves overwhelmingly in favor of the new pitch clock. Requiring pitchers to throw within 15 seconds (20 if there are runners on base) has not only shortened games, it has made the confrontation between batter and pitcher more inherently fair – so much so that the concept should be applied to other aspects of our lives. Restaurants, for example,...

  • How Barbara Walters crafter her incomparable career

    Peter Funt|Jan 9, 2023

    Barbara Walters might never have become a powerful force in broadcast journalism had she lacked the chutzpah to extract a promise from her bosses at NBC News in 1973. As she explained it to me, she had already worked at the "Today" show for a dozen years, serving first as a writer and then as the "Today girl" on set - a bubbly balance to the program's male host, the journalist Frank McGee. If McGee were ever to leave, NBC pledged, she would be named co-host, an unprecedented role for a woman....

  • SOS to Apple: Fix This

    Peter Funt|Nov 21, 2022

     A sheriff’s deputy roared into our driveway the other morning, rang the bell, and asked my wife if she knew my whereabouts.  Alarmed at first, then puzzled, Amy answered honestly: “He’s gone over to the Apple Store to see if they can fix his iPhone.”  Across town, I was telling a friendly clerk named Sheila how I had been walking our dog when the phone in my pants pocket made an odd sound. Finding that the screen was frozen, I tried to power it off. This action somehow triggered...

  • Make national parks free for all

    Peter Funt|Jul 18, 2022

    For just one day this summer - and if you're planning a vacation, it's Thursday, August 4 - entrance fees are waived at the 110 national parks that normally charge admission. These include top tourist favorites such as the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone and Zion National Park, each of which collects $35 per vehicle or $20 per pedestrian. With so many Americans eager for post-pandemic travel, but with gasoline prices damnably high, wouldn't this be a great time to give citizens free access to the...

  • Bingeing new TV shows won't last long

    Peter Funt|Feb 21, 2022

    Nine years ago this month Netflix changed how we watch television. The streaming service released an entire season of its political drama "House of Cards" at once, enabling viewers to binge on 13 episodes. Consumers were torn over whether bingeing was a luxury or, as with a gallon of ice cream or a fifth of vodka, too much of a good thing. Regardless, the scheduling tactic helped Netflix's profits soar. Now, with a raft of new streaming services competing for subscriber dollars, binge...

  • Life lessons from the road

    Peter Funt|Dec 27, 2021

    FORT MYERS, Fla. - The traffic light on Winkler Avenue was green, yet the Camaro in front of me hit the brakes. I managed to avoid him as he stopped short for the duck and her eight babies, who were slowly trying to cross the four-lane street. It was rush hour and cars were whizzing in both directions. Camaro Guy and I held our ground as the duck family reached a two-foot center strip of grass. Now what? Like a shot, the Camaro swerved into the two oncoming lanes and stopped, successfully...

  • A guy never forgets his first car

    Peter Funt|Dec 13, 2021

    The other day, Otis, the used car dealer, pulled out a wad of bills and handed my son two crisp C-notes. That’s all Danny’s ’98 Pontiac Grand-Am was worth anymore, but the rite of passage it had provided was invaluable. Danny purchased his car from Otis years earlier with $3,000 saved from two summers of maintenance work at the local golf course. The Grand-Am served him well, but it didn’t really shape his development or fuel memories the way a first car did in my day. That was the 1960s...

  • 73 years of smiles and insights

    Peter Funt|Aug 16, 2021

    It was 73 years ago this month that my dad, Allen Funt, brought “Candid Camera” to television. Remarkably, between his career and mine, we hold a record as the only entertainment show to have produced new episodes in eight different decades. I still don’t have all the answers, but I’ve heard most of the questions. Are people harder to fool these days? No! Folks are easier to fool. That may seem counterintuitive, but I’m certain it’s true. Much of it has to do with multitasking. When...

  • Opinion: If COVID isn't a tragedy, what is?

    Peter Funt|Jul 20, 2020

    "My fellow Americans, I am today ordering that Monday, August 3, shall be a national day of mourning. All of us should take time on that day to honor the memories of more than 134,000 souls taken by COVID-19. Flags will be lowered to half staff." – Donald J. Trump, President "When our leagues resume play for their shortened seasons, all players will wear black uniform patches to acknowledge the tragic coronavirus deaths." – Adam Silver, NBA Commissioner; Rob Manfred, MLB Commissioner "I am...

  • A new morning in news

    Peter Funt|Jun 15, 2020

    The New York Times made a quiet disclosure recently that speaks loudly about the state of news media today. Its newsletter, “The Morning,” has reached over 17 million circulation, which the paper says is one the largest daily audiences in any form of journalism across all platforms. Let’s process that. A free news summary sent by email – similar to missives now offered 24/7 by most publishers – has found the journalistic sweet spot for a vast number of readers. It prompted the...

  • Sometimes a rose is more than a rose

    Peter Funt|May 25, 2020

    The rose bush outside our kitchen window is telling a different story this spring. Severely cut back each winter, it always rebounds as the weather turns warmer. I once read in a gardening book that it’s almost impossible to over-prune roses. But last week, although the stems had grown tall and the leaves were vibrant, the plant produced just a single flower. I watched as it transitioned from bud to bloom – a soft shade of crimson, not too dark, mixed with a bit of pink from nature’s limit...

  • The 'thank you wave' makes a comeback

    Peter Funt|Apr 13, 2020

    Walking my dog Dorothy a few months ago I didn’t recognize the fellow waving from the white car until he stopped to say hello. Turns out it was Ed, a casual acquaintance, whose wave I hadn’t acknowledged because I couldn’t see him through the tinted glass. Since then I’ve made it a point to wave at every car that passes on our quiet street. Maybe I know the driver, perhaps I don’t. But the wave can’t hurt; in fact, it’s rather nice. Nowadays, with social distancing, we’re all...

  • Ho, ho, the mistletoe

    Peter Funt|Dec 16, 2019

    During the holiday season, which now stretches from autumnal equinox to New Year’s Day, it’s nearly impossible to turn on the radio or walk through a shopping mall without hearing the rich, mellifluous voice of Burl Icle Ivanhoe Ives. Few people can place his name but in the coming weeks millions will sing along or tap their toes to the improbable holiday hit he recorded in November 1964. Ives, who died in 1995, compiled a remarkably diverse showbiz resume. Yet, while memories of his...

  • 1. Make Lists 2. Read Lists 3. Make More Lists

    Peter Funt|Sep 30, 2019

    Here are my five favorite things about this sentence: (1) It grabs your attention, (2) It keeps you guessing, (3) It's not overly wordy, (4) It's something you might forward to friends, (5) It's part of the list-making trend that just keeps growing. The New York Times sent subscribers an email on August 11 promoting "12 new books our editors liked" and "10 best new recipes." There was also a report on "the 50 best TV shows on Netflix right now." 50! That's quite a list. I expect a follow-up in...

  • Cable hosts get the memo

    Peter Funt|May 20, 2019

    Bill O'Reilly, once the most powerful voice on cable TV, has been largely absent from public view for two years following revelations that he paid some $50 million to settle sexual harassment lawsuits. Yet, O'Reilly's signature - a segment he called "The Memo" - continues to have an unfortunate impact across the cable dial. O'Reilly began his nightly Fox News Channel program with commentary, not news. His conservative "Memo" was delivered in compelling style, yielding high ratings for the show...

  • Baseball must end diamond dust-ups

    Peter Funt|Apr 29, 2019

    The boys of summer will be boys and it's high time Major League Baseball did something about it. The generally genteel game is increasingly marred by senseless brawling among players and coaches. It seems baseball's age-old codes of honor, rooted in "respect," are colliding with modern performance antics— such as flipping one's bat or staring at the pitcher after hitting a home run. The latest example, involving the Royals and White Sox in Chicago on April 17, played out like this: In the...

  • Democrats must focus on 2020

    Peter Funt|Apr 1, 2019

    Every step of the way, Donald Trump has played voters and media with catch phrases of the type favored by Madison Avenue and reality TV, starting with "Make America Great Again" - as if such a task should be left to a New York realtor with a checkered past. There was "Build the wall" and "Lock her up!" which proved to be as empty as the bank accounts of Trump's failed casinos. And, most notably in light of the latest news from Washington, "No collusion." Robert Mueller's mission was to...

  • Amy for America

    Peter Funt|Feb 18, 2019

    There are many metrics for what makes a good president, but being able to deliver a speech in falling snow and mid-teen temperatures without hat or gloves for nearly a half hour isn't one of them. Fortunately for Americans, there's more to Amy Klobuchar's candidacy than Sunday's wintry scene on the shore of the Mississippi River. The Minnesota Democrat is the real deal. Entering a crowded field of presidential aspirants, Sen. Klobuchar is not yet a front-runner. Much will transpire over the...

  • 2019 Precap

    Peter Funt|Dec 31, 2018

    Wondering if things will change for the better in the New Year? Here's a handy clip 'n' save Precap of news certain to occur during 2019. Jan. 1 - In a New Year's tweet to the nation, President Trump says he has surveillance showing that Hillary Clinton is continuing to use a private email server. He vows to appoint a special prosecutor to "bring her to justice." Jan. 3 - On "Fox & Friends," Donald Trump Jr. discloses that he has broken up with girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle and is now...

  • I'm failing at passwords

    Peter Funt|Feb 19, 2018

    I have several online accounts that I use a few times year and not once have I gained access without first trying several passwords and then clicking "Forgot Password" to begin the damnable process of getting a new one. More challenging for me than the password itself is the Security Question. What was the first street you lived on? Apparently when I set-up the account I typed "Mt. Airy Road," but months later I entered "Mount Airy Road." Sorry: Your answer does not match our records for this...