Articles written by Danny Tyree
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Will this be your best spring yet?
A tiny portion of my "day job" at a farm-and-home cooperative involves writing radio commercials and on-hold phone messages. More often than I like to admit, I get stuck for a closing zinger and...
Do you hate intersections too?
When my high school classmates obtained a driver’s license, it was not uncommon to hear a teacher opine, “Oh, they must be having a sale at Sears.” Judging by the deplorable examples of road...
What do you remember about 9/11 - and before?
Early on the morning of September 11, 2001, I was a newly minted warehouse supervisor for a farmers cooperative. I can remember almost exactly where a customer’s truck was parked when I overheard...
Have you thanked a school bus driver lately?
According to CNN, pandemic fears and enhanced unemployment benefits have left the nation facing a serious shortage of qualified school bus drivers. The problem is acute, despite districts...
What was your favorite summer job?
With the school year ending and the economy slowly reopening, let’s reminisce about the illustrious history of summer jobs. I’m sure many of you worked your way through high school and college by...
Can we possibly laugh about seasonal allergies?
Tree huggers, are you contemplating a Zoom meeting with Mr. Elm instead? Yes, this is dedicated to the millions of you who share my susceptibility to seasonal allergies. (Seasonal allergies? Yes,...
What shall we say about grandmothers?
Yes, a lot of water has flowed under the bridge since February 20, 1971 – but it’s still hard to believe that Granny Tyree (my father’s mother) has been gone for 50 years. Oh, I shouldn’t...
What will Presidents' Day be in like 50 years?
Whether you read these words before or after Presidents’ Day 2021, be advised that I’m already thinking ahead to Presidents’ Day 2071. If you get your jollies reading about the only bachelor...
Are you and your middle name on speaking terms?
There’s no middle ground with middle names. You either love them or hate them. Or, if you’re a politician, you treat them however the latest opinion poll indicates. (“It’s way past time this...
Ever sing the college brochure blues?
It has been a bittersweet experience seeing the mailbox flooded with college recruiting brochures addressed to my son Gideon. Bittersweet because, speaking as a science fiction fan, each “road not...
Is profanity in the ear of the beholder?
In case you (expletives deleted) missed the marketing campaign, on January 5 the noble public servants at Netflix will launch a six-episode series, "History of Swear Words," hosted by actor Nicholas C...
Can you guess Santa's biggest regrets?
We all know Santa Claus as a “right jolly old elf,” but the man carries a well-stocked bag of regrets. He recently sat down with me to list some of the ways he wished his life had gone...
Can you believe the EPA is 50?
It may be the sort of birthday where someone shouts, “50 candles blazing on the cake? Are you crazy? Why don’t we just fill a pinata with cow methane while we’re at it???” I’m speaking of...
Commercial Radio Turns 100: What are your favorite memories?
Did you realize that commercial radio got its start on November 2, 1920 when legendary KDKA in Pittsburgh broadcast the results of the Harding-Cox presidential race? Almost overnight, radio...
Do you dread opening your car trunk?
My electronic key fob is putting more mileage on ME than on the car. For the past several months, I have tried to build up the nerve to do a thorough search of the contents of my trunk. I am hoping ag...
Are college entrance exams a dying breed?
My son Gideon has now finished both his ACT and SAT college entrance exams (scoring at an impressive percentile somewhere between “It’s …it’s…go ask my wife” and “Never you MIND what...
Come on, get happy: The Patridge Family at 50
Realizing that September 25 marks the 50th anniversary of the premiere of “The Partridge Family,” I am reminded that time moves more swiftly than a 45 RPM turntable. It seems like only yesterday...
Will you be laboring on Labor Day?
For most of us, Labor Day will be an occasion for relaxation and contemplation. (And MORAL DILEMMAS, because our contemplation will be complicated by the fact that the little cartoon angel on our...
Must we live with one foot in the grave?
“Shower the people you love with love/ Show them the way that you feel.” - James Taylor With all due respect to the five-time Grammy Award winner, I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain and I’ve...
Do you have a favorite heat wave story?
Much of the nation is experiencing a prolonged heat wave, so of course your humble columnist counterintuitively conjures up WARM MEMORIES to comfort himself. When I was in college, I sometimes...
Consumers, do we really need all those choices?
Dear pandemic-battered readers, As you try adapting to the New Normal, just hope no diehards are waiting to confuse you with a plethora of ADDITIONAL configurations. It's best just to suck it up and a...
Do you treasure your prom memories?
My wife and I experienced some vicarious living when our son Gideon (finishing up his junior year of high school) attended the senior prom. (Yes, VICARIOUS living. It’s not like we got him out of...
Do you treat retail clerks like human beings?
One of the most awkward, self-conscious incidents in my life occurred when I was shopping with a group. One of my companions blithely continued browsing long after the store was locked. I have done...
Are you a terrible conversationalist?
One of my biggest pet peeves: people who can’t hold up their end of a conversation. Oh, I’m not saying that every single human being is obligated to bring jaw-dropping factoids, whimsical quips...
Who is the most famous person you've ever met?
On a recent Saturday afternoon, 86-year-old Uncle Doug shared a bit of family lore about his grandfather (my great-grandfather). When great-grandpa Henry Lee Gipson was four years old, a stranger...
