New Rockford Transcript - Official Newspaper of Eddy County since 1883

Who needs forensics and gunfire? My wife and I have been catching up on episodes of “The Mysteries of Laura,” the 2014-2016 NBC series starring Debra Messing. Forget murders and chases. The real...

"Time Enough at Last." The new year reminds me of that classic "Twilight Zone" episode starring Burgess Meredith as a put-upon bookworm. (No, he wasn't reading on the wing of an airplane! Get your...

I won't hazard a guess as to whether it achieves immortality like "grassy knoll" or "hanging chads," but surely the phrase "bomb cyclone storm" will remain in the public consciousness of those who...

It has been years since my family last dealt with the "pictures with Santa" pageantry, but Saint Nick impersonators remain an integral part of Christmas for Americans. Parents feel compelled to honor...

"Anxious parents are no longer allowing their kids to go to slumber parties," announced a blurb in the August 16 "New York Post." Slumber parties are not usually one of the top subjects on my mind in...

Wow! Will this really be my 19th Father's Day as a father? My biggest regret is that I've had to learn so much the hard way. To make life easier for other fathers and prospective fathers, I'm sharing...

Hollywood makes iconic catch phrases seem easy. Whether it’s McGarrett’s “Book ‘em, Danno” or Vizzini’s “Inconceivable!” in “The Princess Bride,” we take them for granted. But...

A tiny portion of my "day job" at a farm-and-home cooperative involves writing radio commercials and on-hold phone messages. More often than I like to admit, I get stuck for a closing zinger and...

When my high school classmates obtained a driver’s license, it was not uncommon to hear a teacher opine, “Oh, they must be having a sale at Sears.” Judging by the deplorable examples of road...

Early on the morning of September 11, 2001, I was a newly minted warehouse supervisor for a farmers cooperative. I can remember almost exactly where a customer’s truck was parked when I overheard...

According to CNN, pandemic fears and enhanced unemployment benefits have left the nation facing a serious shortage of qualified school bus drivers. The problem is acute, despite districts...

With the school year ending and the economy slowly reopening, let’s reminisce about the illustrious history of summer jobs. I’m sure many of you worked your way through high school and college by...

Tree huggers, are you contemplating a Zoom meeting with Mr. Elm instead? Yes, this is dedicated to the millions of you who share my susceptibility to seasonal allergies. (Seasonal allergies? Yes,...

Yes, a lot of water has flowed under the bridge since February 20, 1971 – but it’s still hard to believe that Granny Tyree (my father’s mother) has been gone for 50 years. Oh, I shouldn’t...

Whether you read these words before or after Presidents’ Day 2021, be advised that I’m already thinking ahead to Presidents’ Day 2071. If you get your jollies reading about the only bachelor...

There’s no middle ground with middle names. You either love them or hate them. Or, if you’re a politician, you treat them however the latest opinion poll indicates. (“It’s way past time this...

It has been a bittersweet experience seeing the mailbox flooded with college recruiting brochures addressed to my son Gideon. Bittersweet because, speaking as a science fiction fan, each “road not...

In case you (expletives deleted) missed the marketing campaign, on January 5 the noble public servants at Netflix will launch a six-episode series, "History of Swear Words," hosted by actor Nicholas C...

We all know Santa Claus as a “right jolly old elf,” but the man carries a well-stocked bag of regrets. He recently sat down with me to list some of the ways he wished his life had gone...

It may be the sort of birthday where someone shouts, “50 candles blazing on the cake? Are you crazy? Why don’t we just fill a pinata with cow methane while we’re at it???” I’m speaking of...

Did you realize that commercial radio got its start on November 2, 1920 when legendary KDKA in Pittsburgh broadcast the results of the Harding-Cox presidential race? Almost overnight, radio...

My electronic key fob is putting more mileage on ME than on the car. For the past several months, I have tried to build up the nerve to do a thorough search of the contents of my trunk. I am hoping ag...

My son Gideon has now finished both his ACT and SAT college entrance exams (scoring at an impressive percentile somewhere between “It’s …it’s…go ask my wife” and “Never you MIND what...

Realizing that September 25 marks the 50th anniversary of the premiere of “The Partridge Family,” I am reminded that time moves more swiftly than a 45 RPM turntable. It seems like only yesterday...

For most of us, Labor Day will be an occasion for relaxation and contemplation. (And MORAL DILEMMAS, because our contemplation will be complicated by the fact that the little cartoon angel on our...