New Rockford Transcript - Official Newspaper of Eddy County since 1883

Articles written by Danny Tyree

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 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    March 1, 2021

What shall we say about grandmothers?

Yes, a lot of water has flowed under the bridge since February 20, 1971 – but it’s still hard to believe that Granny Tyree (my father’s mother) has been gone for 50 years. Oh, I shouldn’t...

 

What will Presidents' Day be in like 50 years?

Whether you read these words before or after Presidents’ Day 2021, be advised that I’m already thinking ahead to Presidents’ Day 2071. If you get your jollies reading about the only bachelor...

 

Are you and your middle name on speaking terms?

There’s no middle ground with middle names. You either love them or hate them. Or, if you’re a politician, you treat them however the latest opinion poll indicates. (“It’s way past time this...

 

Ever sing the college brochure blues?

It has been a bittersweet experience seeing the mailbox flooded with college recruiting brochures addressed to my son Gideon. Bittersweet because, speaking as a science fiction fan, each “road not...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    January 4, 2021

Is profanity in the ear of the beholder?

In case you (expletives deleted) missed the marketing campaign, on January 5 the noble public servants at Netflix will launch a six-episode series, "History of Swear Words," hosted by actor Nicholas C...

 

Can you guess Santa's biggest regrets?

We all know Santa Claus as a “right jolly old elf,” but the man carries a well-stocked bag of regrets. He recently sat down with me to list some of the ways he wished his life had gone...

 

Can you believe the EPA is 50?

It may be the sort of birthday where someone shouts, “50 candles blazing on the cake? Are you crazy? Why don’t we just fill a pinata with cow methane while we’re at it???” I’m speaking of...

 

Commercial Radio Turns 100: What are your favorite memories?

Did you realize that commercial radio got its start on November 2, 1920 when legendary KDKA in Pittsburgh broadcast the results of the Harding-Cox presidential race? Almost overnight, radio...

 

Do you dread opening your car trunk?

My electronic key fob is putting more mileage on ME than on the car. For the past several months, I have tried to build up the nerve to do a thorough search of the contents of my trunk. I am hoping ag...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    October 5, 2020

Are college entrance exams a dying breed?

My son Gideon has now finished both his ACT and SAT college entrance exams (scoring at an impressive percentile somewhere between “It’s …it’s…go ask my wife” and “Never you MIND what...

 

Come on, get happy: The Patridge Family at 50

Realizing that September 25 marks the 50th anniversary of the premiere of “The Partridge Family,” I am reminded that time moves more swiftly than a 45 RPM turntable. It seems like only yesterday...

 

Will you be laboring on Labor Day?

For most of us, Labor Day will be an occasion for relaxation and contemplation. (And MORAL DILEMMAS, because our contemplation will be complicated by the fact that the little cartoon angel on our...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    August 3, 2020

Must we live with one foot in the grave?

“Shower the people you love with love/ Show them the way that you feel.” - James Taylor With all due respect to the five-time Grammy Award winner, I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain and I’ve...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    July 27, 2020

Do you have a favorite heat wave story?

Much of the nation is experiencing a prolonged heat wave, so of course your humble columnist counterintuitively conjures up WARM MEMORIES to comfort himself. When I was in college, I sometimes...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    July 6, 2020

Consumers, do we really need all those choices?

Dear pandemic-battered readers, As you try adapting to the New Normal, just hope no diehards are waiting to confuse you with a plethora of ADDITIONAL configurations. It's best just to suck it up and a...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    June 29, 2020

Do you treasure your prom memories?

My wife and I experienced some vicarious living when our son Gideon (finishing up his junior year of high school) attended the senior prom. (Yes, VICARIOUS living. It’s not like we got him out of...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    May 25, 2020

Do you treat retail clerks like human beings?

One of the most awkward, self-conscious incidents in my life occurred when I was shopping with a group. One of my companions blithely continued browsing long after the store was locked. I have done...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    May 18, 2020

Are you a terrible conversationalist?

One of my biggest pet peeves: people who can’t hold up their end of a conversation. Oh, I’m not saying that every single human being is obligated to bring jaw-dropping factoids, whimsical quips...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    April 27, 2020

Who is the most famous person you've ever met?

On a recent Saturday afternoon, 86-year-old Uncle Doug shared a bit of family lore about his grandfather (my great-grandfather). When great-grandpa Henry Lee Gipson was four years old, a stranger...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    April 20, 2020

Can we please have a few TV westerns, pardner?

The recent death of actor James Drury (star of the 1962-1971 TV Western “The Virginian”) adds insult to injury when one considers what will occur next month. When the networks announce the shows...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    March 23, 2020

Do you dare take the goodness challenge?

According to the Associated Press, Michael Schur (creator of the critically acclaimed NBC series “The Good Place”) has signed with publishing house Simon & Schuster to write the humor/philosophy...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    March 2, 2020

So, have you made out your last will and testament

I hope the document remains locked away unused for many years, but my brother and I finally got around to meeting with a lawyer and helping our mother make out her last will and testament. I’m not...

 

Can we please have more Middlebrown citizens?

“Middlebrow.” I sitˆ typing this column on the 20th anniversary of the massive heart attack that took the life of my father, and “middlebrow” is one of the words that pops into my mind when...

 

Does your family include a speed demon?

Readers of fine newspapers may recall that last July I unleashed a tirade titled “Slow drivers: are they driving you insane?” Several readers offered a “Yes, but…” response. They...

 

Can you possibly meet your savings goals in 2020?

A recent “Wall Street Journal” article touted New Year’s as one of the optimal “clean slate” times to draft a financial plan. (“Ahem…unless that plan involves something foolhardy like...

 

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