New Rockford Transcript - Official Newspaper of Eddy County since 1883

Articles written by Danny Tyree

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Just how clean is your vehicle?

Who needs forensics and gunfire? My wife and I have been catching up on episodes of “The Mysteries of Laura,” the 2014-2016 NBC series starring Debra Messing. Forget murders and chases. The real...

 

Giving up on your 2023 reading list yet?

"Time Enough at Last." The new year reminds me of that classic "Twilight Zone" episode starring Burgess Meredith as a put-upon bookworm. (No, he wasn't reading on the wing of an airplane! Get your...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    January 2, 2023

Cold enough for you?

I won't hazard a guess as to whether it achieves immortality like "grassy knoll" or "hanging chads," but surely the phrase "bomb cyclone storm" will remain in the public consciousness of those who...

 

Have you hugged a Santa impersonator lately?

It has been years since my family last dealt with the "pictures with Santa" pageantry, but Saint Nick impersonators remain an integral part of Christmas for Americans. Parents feel compelled to honor...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    August 29, 2022

Are you losing sleep over slumber parties?

"Anxious parents are no longer allowing their kids to go to slumber parties," announced a blurb in the August 16 "New York Post." Slumber parties are not usually one of the top subjects on my mind in...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    June 20, 2022

Craving some fatherhood advice?

Wow! Will this really be my 19th Father's Day as a father? My biggest regret is that I've had to learn so much the hard way. To make life easier for other fathers and prospective fathers, I'm sharing...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    June 6, 2022

Do you have a personal catch phrase?

Hollywood makes iconic catch phrases seem easy. Whether it’s McGarrett’s “Book ‘em, Danno” or Vizzini’s “Inconceivable!” in “The Princess Bride,” we take them for granted. But...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    March 28, 2022

Will this be your best spring yet?

A tiny portion of my "day job" at a farm-and-home cooperative involves writing radio commercials and on-hold phone messages. More often than I like to admit, I get stuck for a closing zinger and...

 

Do you hate intersections too?

When my high school classmates obtained a driver’s license, it was not uncommon to hear a teacher opine, “Oh, they must be having a sale at Sears.” Judging by the deplorable examples of road...

 

What do you remember about 9/11 - and before?

Early on the morning of September 11, 2001, I was a newly minted warehouse supervisor for a farmers cooperative. I can remember almost exactly where a customer’s truck was parked when I overheard...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    August 30, 2021

Have you thanked a school bus driver lately?

According to CNN, pandemic fears and enhanced unemployment benefits have left the nation facing a serious shortage of qualified school bus drivers. The problem is acute, despite districts...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    June 7, 2021

What was your favorite summer job?

With the school year ending and the economy slowly reopening, let’s reminisce about the illustrious history of summer jobs. I’m sure many of you worked your way through high school and college by...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    April 26, 2021

Can we possibly laugh about seasonal allergies?

Tree huggers, are you contemplating a Zoom meeting with Mr. Elm instead? Yes, this is dedicated to the millions of you who share my susceptibility to seasonal allergies. (Seasonal allergies? Yes,...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    March 1, 2021

What shall we say about grandmothers?

Yes, a lot of water has flowed under the bridge since February 20, 1971 – but it’s still hard to believe that Granny Tyree (my father’s mother) has been gone for 50 years. Oh, I shouldn’t...

 

What will Presidents' Day be in like 50 years?

Whether you read these words before or after Presidents’ Day 2021, be advised that I’m already thinking ahead to Presidents’ Day 2071. If you get your jollies reading about the only bachelor...

 

Are you and your middle name on speaking terms?

There’s no middle ground with middle names. You either love them or hate them. Or, if you’re a politician, you treat them however the latest opinion poll indicates. (“It’s way past time this...

 

Ever sing the college brochure blues?

It has been a bittersweet experience seeing the mailbox flooded with college recruiting brochures addressed to my son Gideon. Bittersweet because, speaking as a science fiction fan, each “road not...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    January 4, 2021

Is profanity in the ear of the beholder?

In case you (expletives deleted) missed the marketing campaign, on January 5 the noble public servants at Netflix will launch a six-episode series, "History of Swear Words," hosted by actor Nicholas C...

 

Can you guess Santa's biggest regrets?

We all know Santa Claus as a “right jolly old elf,” but the man carries a well-stocked bag of regrets. He recently sat down with me to list some of the ways he wished his life had gone...

 

Can you believe the EPA is 50?

It may be the sort of birthday where someone shouts, “50 candles blazing on the cake? Are you crazy? Why don’t we just fill a pinata with cow methane while we’re at it???” I’m speaking of...

 

Commercial Radio Turns 100: What are your favorite memories?

Did you realize that commercial radio got its start on November 2, 1920 when legendary KDKA in Pittsburgh broadcast the results of the Harding-Cox presidential race? Almost overnight, radio...

 

Do you dread opening your car trunk?

My electronic key fob is putting more mileage on ME than on the car. For the past several months, I have tried to build up the nerve to do a thorough search of the contents of my trunk. I am hoping ag...

 
 By Danny Tyree    Opinion    October 5, 2020

Are college entrance exams a dying breed?

My son Gideon has now finished both his ACT and SAT college entrance exams (scoring at an impressive percentile somewhere between “It’s …it’s…go ask my wife” and “Never you MIND what...

 

Come on, get happy: The Patridge Family at 50

Realizing that September 25 marks the 50th anniversary of the premiere of “The Partridge Family,” I am reminded that time moves more swiftly than a 45 RPM turntable. It seems like only yesterday...

 

Will you be laboring on Labor Day?

For most of us, Labor Day will be an occasion for relaxation and contemplation. (And MORAL DILEMMAS, because our contemplation will be complicated by the fact that the little cartoon angel on our...

 

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